Giving Mommy

Busy holidays...

this has been the busiest time in my life ever. I had 15 sessions these last two months and an anniversary party. I also have all the normal shopping, gifts to make, parties to go to, preschool programs, etc. So no time to rest. I had no idea how I would ever get all those sessions edited but some how I managed and I am COMPLETELY done with all my work! I only have one more session purposely scheduled this month and had to turn a bunch of people down until Jan. Dont get me wrong I love this buisness I am building but its the holidays and above all I am a SAHM and I want to make the holidays the most important right now because to my kids it is.

Anyhow, I have so many pics to share but I will just share some recent pics I took of my kids for the Christmas card. I will post more later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another shoot....

So, Once again I had a whole post written out last night and right at the end it went poof. I was soooo upset. That is the second one lately that has happened to. Its 2am as usual for me. I stay up from 10-2am editing pics and then wake up at 7 am with my kids. I am so busy and so tired I think I am starting to hallucinate. I never thought buisness would pick up so fast. I have 12 shoots in Nov and a multi family Christmas card shoot. I also am a full time mom, an organizer of a meetup moms group that gets together twice a week and a amatuer photographer trying to launch a business. There is no sleep.

Anyways, a quick post here to show you a cute baby boy I did last month.

 

 

  

  

  

  

  

   

 

 

 

My first maternity shoot!!

I had a huge post written out a week ago with a ton of photos and well...right at the end it shut down and was gone. I HATE computers..ok I cant live without them either. Anyways, I have a TON of shoots this month and next but this is my only maternity one so far. I think it turned out quite nice! I have only edited a few. There are at least 100 excellent shots I cant seem to delete. Sigh.She still has six weeks to go! This is her 3rd baby!! Two boys and now a girl. We are so excited!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few more session pics...

It has been a whirlwind lately with my pics. I can not keep up. I have session after session and then no time to edit. Right now people are having to wait a month or longer for the pics. I hate that but I also give people like 150 pics and I have to stop doing so many. Editing that many pics and then also including them in a special tone like aged, sepia or b&w takes forever. Anyways, here are a few pics...

This session I have to do over in a few weeks. This cutie had a 102 fever that day and we got almost zero shots of her by herself smiling. She wasnt having any of it. This is literally almost all we got. I dont mind she is beautiful!!!

 

This next gal was so super sweet but as you can see in the last photo she has pretty bad ezcema. I know poor baby but it took forever to edit her pics! Somehow that one got skipped but I wanted to show how much work goes into editing! We had fun with her though.

This last chick was teething so bad this day. Almost every single shot she had her hands in her mouth or she was sticking out her tongue something her mom says she never does! I have shot her also at 6 months as one of my first clients and this is her 9 month. She was so fussy we barely got any smiley pics. Oh and she is so bald but would not keep any of my hats or bows on! I am telling you its not so easy to shoot babies!!!

 

Oh, my kids? Ok here are a couple. I actually just had to move all of them off my harddrive to make space for editing pics..

 

 

Last but my fav! Summer friends!

Dont seem so shocked!!!

Geez, its only been like half a year since I have updated. I know its horrible. I just got out of the swing of things because life around here got so busy. We are never at home anymore. We spend at least 2-3 days a week at my moms group play dates or at little friends houses and then the other days I am taking photos. I can count on one hand the days I have spent in my house in the last month for a full day without going anywhere. Yeah, one single day...thats it!

I started taking pictures of the new babies in my moms group around Nov of last year. I had no idea it would turn into what it has which is a full studio at my moms house. After I did several hospital shoots those babies of course grew and then the moms wanted the three month pics done. So, got on ebay and got me a simple backdrop. I hung it in my dining room and either opened up all the windows and used natural light or I would use my bounce flash. Then, I got into it. I looked into lights and got a continuous light setup by Westcott that came with a video and everything telling me how to use it. I hated it and returned it. So I researched and bought an AlienBees strobe and fell in love. I started to get a lot more business and I couldn't maintain it in my tiny dining room anymore. So, my lovely mom who had her attic turned into a craft room decided she would let me take over it and use it as my own studio and its a nice 500 sq ft with very high ceilings.

Fast forward about six months and I now have not one but four Alienbee strobes, different lenses, several backdrops and TONS of props. I started out slow but now I have on average 3 shoots per week and I am booked a couple months out. It is amazing how fast word of mouth spreads. Plus, I think for most people I charge really cheap for what they get. I will have a website soon and when I do I will share it here with you. But, photographing babies and children has been a dream of mine for years now and here it is coming true. Thank God for my moms group because I had instant business and will for years. Even if I only did my group thats 35 moms that all have between 1 and 3 kids!

So, I have no time to breathe these days. If I am at home I am editing pics or playing with my kids. Speaking of...Little G is 20 months old. I know. Isn't that just insane? I cant believe my baby will be two in a few months. He is a boy to the extreme. He loves to fight, he loves to run and climb everything, is obsessed with bugs and cars and of course is a total momma;s boy. He is still a super tiny guy weighing only about 19lbs soaking wet and I have no clue how tall he is but he can still wear most 12-18 month clothing!

Miss G completed her first year of dance and had her first recital in June. It was so freaking adorable and she was the best dancer in her class. I am not just saying that because I am her mother either. The teacher even said so as did many of the other moms. She is an excellent listener and never forgets anything. Which is awesome for dance...not so much for me and my sometimes not so nice mouth. Anyways, it was so amazing seeing my baby up there on stage totally confident and happy. I was the proudest I have ever been in all my life.

She likes to remind me all the time that she is four and a half now. She is in the stage of asking a million questions and some are so hard to answer and the whys never ever seen to end. Some days, I have to ask her to stop talking and I have to tell her not to ask me any more questions. The child just never stops talking and by the end of the day my mind is about to explode from hearing her go nonstop all day long. But, she is so smart and is loved by every child in our playgroup. She has so many friends there isn't enough time to fit them all into her life it seems.

Miss G and Little G are the best of friends and the worst enemies. When Little G hit about a year Miss G started sneaking around hitting him. He would cry and she would tell me he bumped his head. Well, now  that he is older he has started to fight back and I cant tell you how much of my days consists of time outs, huge tantrums and lots of tears from both parties. But, then Miss G talks to him like he can understand every single thing she says and they play together like best friends most of the time. They make up so many different games around the house and its so fun to watch them interact. Little G is such a kisser and if Miss G is asleep he wont be happy until he has given her a ton of kisses which is so cute to watch. They love each other and loathe each other nonstop all day and I guess thats what siblings do right? Its so worth it. I cant imagine either of them not having the other. I can not imagine being an only child. How awesome is it to have someone to play with all day long and how awesome that I don't have to be that person since I have so many other things going on in my life?

Summer here has been HOT!  Almost all of our playgroups have consisted of going to swim at someones pool or doing playgroups inside because going to the park in this heat is just unheard of. We did get away a couple months ago and went on a vacation to Marco Island. Its located in Florida right on the coast near Naples. It had the most gorgeous beaches. This is the trip my hubby wins every year with his work and we always go to Hilton Head but this year they wanted to try something new. Everyone seemed to love it more but to me there is just nothing like HH. The trip was so far from relaxing with two kids. Plus, we had to fly there because it would of been a 14 hour drive with no stops so for us that would be impossible. We basically just stayed at the hotel the entire trip and went from the pool to the beach all day everyday. I was just wanting to be back home. Little G did like the beach but he was not thrilled with being away from his home. He was so excited when we got back and he saw all his toys. Miss G had the best time of all of us. She was a fish and we couldn't pull her out of the water if we tried. She loved swimming in the ocean the very best and catching fish in her net. Neither kid cared too much about the sand which was surprising. But for me it just wasn't much fun. I mean I loved making memories with them but everyday naps would get missed all together and we would have to endure some of the most HORRIBLE tantrums we had seen in our lives and it was enough to make me drown myself in the ocean. But, it just made me all the more appreciative of what I have here at home. It made me really realize that I am truly happy with where I am in my life right now. I get to stay home with my kids, I have an awesome playgroup and have made so many friends I cant even count them, I have a dream business starting and I just love having my studio and making people smile with my pictures, I have a great hubby who works his butt off to keep all of us happy and cooks for us every night and I just cant thank anyone but God for where I am right now. But, I am just truly happy and thats all I could ask for really.

A few recent pics...

This was just a quick pic I took when I was playing with my lights the other day. How bad am I that I have this studio and haven't even taken pics of my own kids in it yet except to test lights?? Sigh. Oh and this is straight out of the cam I didn't have time to edit it at all.

My little flower....

Totally random shot but the most recent I have..and they are still cute.

Our only family pic from vacation...sigh..Marco Island beach...

At the airport....excited waiting for the plane.

Miss G on the hotel balcony

Little G swimming with daddy in his wetsuit

Eating ice at Grandmas house...a fav pastime...

Miss G looking so freaking cute!

Playing with the wagon on the 4th of July!

Daddy teaching Little G how to hit the ball

Waiting for the fireworks!

And here are a few of the recent baby shoots I have done. Enjoy...I just picked a few random ones.

 

I will try to be better with updating but leave me some love if you are still checking up on me and my family:)

Baby turned BIG GIRL!

Yes, here we are. My little tiny baby girl who I thought would stay a baby forever surprised me a couple weekends ago by turning four. OMG. Can you believe that? Me either. Her birthday party was INSANE. My mom and I spent months planning it and it went perfect.

The theme we decided on was Flower Fairies. I wanted something beautiful but not cartoony and fun. I loved the look of these. Supringly months earlier my mom had set the theme by purchasing real plates and platters that matched the theme. I cant believe we both had the exact same idea. I was also able to find a place that sold paper products, table decor, balloons and even a huge vinyl banner.  We also made full on Flower Fairy costumes for each girl with skirts, wings, wands, and head pieces. Yes, we made all of them by hand and it took a LONG time. The party would be held at my moms house because her house is super nice and super huge and she has a empty craft room and bonus room upstairs that were perfect to party in.

Invite- First was the invite we sent out to everyone. I put her on a black backdrop in a fairy costume and took her pics then my sister made the invite. This one doesn't have the writing but it said Miss G invites you to a Flower Fairy tea party and had the time and address on the front. It even had a note on the back with a cute rhyme and a pretty flower fairy printed on them telling them the specs and directions. I mounted them on a cute gray card stock and glued the info to the back and they turned out amazing!

 

Decorations- I could of killed myself for not getting pics of all of it better. I even missed the doorways she decorated with these pretty hanging fairies that are now in Miss G's room hanging from her ceiling. But you can get an idea!

Its too bright but you can see one of those cute fairies in the chair...this was at the top of the stairs...

The entrance to the room where we ate...hard to see but she had this woodsy stuff hanging down..

the kids table beautifully decorated with butterflies on each chair...

The cake table and the fairy cottage my mom decorated...you can see the favor boxes under the table. Her cute banner we had made.

Up close of the cottage...

finally the window where the food was. We did all the games and present openings in the bonus room which was lightly decorated but I didn't get any pics...sigh.

Costumes- Mom, sister and I worked weekends on the outfits but I did the main grunt worked spending probably 48 hours finishing them alone. I had so many burns from that glue gun my hands looked diseased. We made skirts out of  tons of tulle and then hot glued flowers at the waist and added ribbon and gems, the wings we got at dollar tree and ripped off everything and then recovered them with new tights, added the flowers, ribbons and sparkles and attached them to the girls with ribbon. The head pieces were plain headbands that I wrapped ribbon around all over and then added flowers and ribbon.  Last was the wands which we used wooden dowels and wrapped them in ribbon, added the same flowers on top and had ribbons streaming down. All the girls outfits had different flowers but all the flowers on their pieces matched. Oh, also all the flowers were sprayed with sparkly glitter. I didn't take any pics of them all together before the kids got them on and I could kick myself for that but you will see them shorty.

Menu-I also had bought fairy cook books and made so many cute food items. Like magic marshmallow wands which were pink or chocolate marshmallows on a dowel with candy melt on top with sprinkles. Then we had sandwiches which were sourdough bread cut into circles and then another cutter used on top in the shape of a heart or flower with preserves inside some, cucumbers in others and some with ham. I also made tiny cheese scones in the shape of hearts and flowers. My mom made pink fizzy punch and rainbow parfaits. My MIL made the beautiful fairy cake and bug cupcakes. There was surely enough sugar there.

Her pretty cake my MIL made. I made the mushrooms out of marzipan.

 

and bug cupcakes...

on the table and you can see my marshies in the back.

and finally the sandwiches and scones...yumm-o!

Games- We had several fun but easy games. I lucked out and found a game called pin the fairy on the flower. We also had a huge terracotta pot with 4 big plush flowers in it with plastic rings made out of tubing and they had to try to throw them over the flowers. We also made 4 flowers to put on the floor and with our fairy music we played musical flowers and the girls would dance and when the music stopped who ever wasn't on a flower was out removing a flower each time but I don't have any pics of that game. Last, I had a big teapot pinata that was filled to the top with tons of sugary candy. It had the string conversion kit on the bottom so they didn't have to hit it just pull the strings. At the end of the games I gave each girl a prize. We had magnetic paper dolls and other nice gifts for them.

Pin the fairy on the flower...

Miss G's turn...she won!

Musical Fairies...

Miss G when she lost the game..hey its her party..right?

finally, the pinata!!! Yeah!

all the candy!

Craft. We did a cute craft making simple fairies out of pipe cleaners, wooden bead, flower petals and yarn. But the kids were so busy they didn't want to sit still to do it so us moms ended up doing that. They were really cute though.

Favors- Finally the favor boxes. Even though at each girls table they got jewelry to wear, a bubble, stamp ink pen and a ceramic fairy at the end of the party they had to go around the two rooms and each find a little plastic fairy doll. When they found the doll they each got a favor box. They were cute boxes shaped like flower pots that I had put really special transfers of fairies on each one. There was so much inside you can just look at the pics. Miss G's box is shown but all the other girls got a tinkerbell pin and their dust had a wand. Her box kinda got the leftovers.

The box!

The goods inside with Little G trying to snatch it all...

The party went amazing. The girls arrived and my MIL was dressed up as the fairy Godmother. She sprinkled each of the with fairy dust and then helped them put on their outfits. They were sooo excited and then they all ran upstairs to see the fairy world my mom had created. She really out did herself and I didn't even get a pic of all of it and I could kick myself. She had made it so magical for them. They all came in a danced to the fairy music that was playing and then played the pin the fairy game. After that they ate some of the food and then played a couple more games. Then, it was time for cake and crafts. Finally, Miss G opened up her presents and then they did the pinata and found the favor boxes. The party lasted 4 hours and each mom joked that they left with more than they came with since they got to take home the costumes, prizes and favor boxes. Everyone said it was the most beautiful party they had every been too. It really was a four year olds dream come true. It was a ton of work and money but the memories she has of it and we have are so worth it. What an amazing fourth birthday!

Miss G getting dressed!

Getting wings...

Flying up to fairy world...

Up the stairs they goooo...

All the girls dressed up...yeah its not fun trying to get a group shot!

Miss G dancing....

All the fairies dancing

She wasn't impressed at all...not one bit!

Another of my big girl

Busy girls...

eating all that sugar!!!

Beautiful girl

Blowing out another year...she got them all!

All eating cake!

My favorite.

Opening gifts..

So excited to get her new mermaid bike...

Thats all for now folks. Wonder why I don't post more? This one took about 2 whole hours. My house is now trashed and the kids are starving. Life is impossible. It takes forever to upload pics on typepad. I hope you enjoyed!

One more so you can see them both...I took yesterday. He was a little scruffy.

Sleepy Sunday's

No time to write but my kids are so super edible these days. They hate each other and love each other at the same time more every single day. I cant imagine ever only having one child and I would never want to. This is just the way its supposed to be around here!

Get some rest too..I sure wish I could just sleep whenever I wanted like these two!

Yay! Its 2008...ALREADY???

I can not believe its already 2008 and I really can not believe that my firstborn will turn 4 in a little less than two months. I had a hard enough time accepting my baby boy turning a year old. I am almost to the point where I am like why even have another? This one grew up so fast I couldn't even blink. If I don't even get to enjoy those sweet babies because they grow up so quick I don't even know if its worth it anymore. Totally kidding but I really don't know where the time goes.

The holidays were anything but relaxing. We had about 10 whole days of celebrating with family and it was so tiring. Plus, my hubbies sister was in town and every time that occurs she feels like her kid must spend every single second of every single day with my kid just because they are cousins. I don't agree and it drives me nuts even more so at the holidays when we are entirely too busy already. I was sad to see another Christmas pass but I cant say I was too sad since I was so ready to lay my butt on the couch for more than a couple minutes. I fell into a coma the day after they all left and I swear I slept for a solid four hours and neither kid woke me up. Thank God someone else was here because I was dead to the world.

Santa must of been crazy this year and he thought our kids had been really good or something because they got way to much stuff. I feel like I am being swallowed alive by all the plastic in my house. Every door I open I get pegged in the head by some plastic junk or stub my toes on them. Its so annoying that toys are almost all made from plastic. I am all about the wood toys but family is just so old school and they always go to Walmart and purchase the worst plastic crap they can find. At least I knew I could buy them quality stuff but then I didn't even want to because I knew how much they were getting from everyone else.

So after 10 whole days of carting the kids and all their crap from house to house and place to place it was finally all over.  Some how we cant get Miss G to realize that though because she is still telling people "Merry Christmas" when she sees them and says over and over for some odd reason "We have just one more Christmas left". Actually I think she says that because we had so many that everyday I would have to tell her "OK, we have 5, 4, 3, 2, and finally one more Christmas left". I bet she was starting to think that opening presents was something she was forced to do. Normally, my child is so very appreciative but even she got to the point where she would just rip open crap and not even look at it. Sigh. Now, Little G could of given a snot about any present opening. I actually had to open about 99 percent of his gifts because he just wasn't in that. But he was into trying to steal all the other kids gifts. He wasn't anywhere near interested in his own stuff. He still isn't interested in it. I do not breed kids who like toys. I really don't know why. They just don't play with toys very often. Miss G prefers to paint and craft and Little G prefers to climb the side of the staircase, open doors and drawers and basically try to kill himself in anyway possible by climbing on anything and everything. Occasionally, he will push a car across the floor and go VROOOOOMMM but thats it.

New Years was a bust. I sat in my little chair and watched the ball drop while my hubby snored on the floor at my feet and Miss G slobbered all over the couch. I remembered back on all the years that we spent out in the cold at my parents house shooting off fireworks at midnight. How we would watch my dad get so excited running back and forth lighting them all like a kid and now thats all past and he is gone. Hopefully, those days are not over forever and one day we will somehow have our own tradition on New Years Eve. I was actually just kinda glad everyone was asleep so I could spend a while in my own head reminiscing about years past. Its good to have time to think every once in a while. It doesnt happen often enough around here and I need it.

Thats about all around here. My moms group is super active and we have 30 members right now who come to something at least every other week. We are also having a baby boom right now with 5 brand new ones. Little G was the smallest one in the group for a whole year and now all of a sudden we have all these new little babies. Kinda gives me the itch you know?? The one that Mr. G wouldn't scratch if his life depended on it. Well, we are working on that to change so check back on that issue in a few years.

Time is out so here is a few pics to update all of my five readers I have left. Thanks to you for staying in touch even though I don't. I really appreciate it! You are the only reason I make a point to post when I get a minute! Ok warning photo overload!!!

Here is my little guy on Christmas Morning all mussed!

Miss G so proud of her new scooter!

He really wanted a turn too.  But he would just sit down on it and push it with his feet.

Checking out her new doll house!

Ignore the boogers we have lived with for a month . This is his new fav thing to do!

Opening stockings together

Miss G and me on Christmas eve at grandma's

Yes, folks this is really as good as it will get. Little G will not look at the cam for his life!

And some other random shots..Miss G as a pirate!

Me and my Little man!

Teaching a very bad thing!

They are always playing together and I love it!

She really is pretty right?

and most of the time her pics look like this though!

Morning really is the sweetest time for sibling love!

My new little artist

And last but not least is my favorite Christmas photo this year and it was not staged! I just love all the bubbles from the lights and how she looks like she is dreaming of Christmas. Ahh...Memories.

Updates...

I am not even going to come up with some clever reason as to why I have neglected this blog for over two months because there is none. I am just too busy with the kids, shopping, holidays, bdays, moms group, cleaning and just every and anything else life throws in my plate. When I finally get a second to sit down and think about my blog I can not come up with anything interesting to write about so I just end up surfing the net instead.I guess I just gave you a cleaver reason even though I said I wasn't going to...sigh. Then there was the time about a month ago that I sat down and wrote the most awesome entry ever and then it disappeared right when I was finished. That had me so mad I didn't even think of blogging for over a month.

So this will be quick! Little G is yes over a year old now. He is running, climbing everything, throwing tantrums, clapping, stacking blocks, and is basically very physically advanced for his age. When we go to Mc'D's or Chickfila and they have those big tunnel systems with the slides he actually goes right up them like all the other kids and goes down the slides. He is amazing. He is also a handful. He will make anything into a step stool to get where he wants to go. If he wants to get up on something he will find the wipe box and take it to where he wants to reach and climb right up. He will also bring me pretty much anything I ask him to like his blanket, juice, or a toy. I am not just talking about pointing to it and he gets it but if his blanket is totally out of sight he will run around til he finds it and then he will bring it to me. He is sooo smart! The only thing he isn't doing much of is talking. If I say something he will repeat me but day to day he will only say Mama, daddy, hidee, and sometimes unny for our dog Sunny.

He had a great first bday party with all our family but dumb me scheduled it right at his nap time so we couldn't get a smile out of him the entire time. So much for good pictures. He had a cute froggy cake that he stuck his feet in when we sat him on the table to look at it. When it came time to eat it he didn't really care too much about it. He loved the icing and ate a decent amount of that but he didn't get anywhere near as messy as I had hoped he would. He got tons of gifts and unlike his sister at this age who only played with the boxes the toys came in he actually was really interested in all the toys! He acted gracious for every gift he got and gave each of them attention before moving on to the next one. When it was all over he spent the next couple of days carrying a huge bundle of balloons around. It was so funny too because all you could see were the balloons moving all over the house because he is still so tiny. Yes, he is only 18lbs and I have no idea how tall but every where we go people have no clue he is a year old and they think its amazing to see him running around like he does.

Miss G is becoming such big girl. I can honestly say I do not even want to think about her fourth bday coming up in Feb. I cant believe she is already four and this is the first year it has made me extremely sad to think about her getting another year older. It seems like I hurried the first three years because I couldn't wait for her to be a real person and now she is and I don't want her to keep growing. I don't want her words to become perfect like they have. I want her to always pronounce her L's like W's and I just don't want her to not be a baby anymore. Why do they have to grow up? I feel like I am going to blink and she will be going out on her first date and I will and it will happen so soon. She talks NON STOP. I thought a year ago that she talked too much but now I don't know how to deal with it. Her mouth runs from the moment she wakes up until she falls asleep and hey it doesn't even stop then! She talks nonstop in her sleep too! We really have to tell her to be quiet a lot because it just gets overwhelming after a while and her voice starts making me want to scrap my eyeballs out of my head and well I couldn't live without my ear plugs sometimes to turn down the noise. I know I should just love it and live in the moment because the years will come when I will wish she would talk to me. Sigh. She is such a big girl.

Christmas is here. The presents are all bought and the baking has begun. Its going to be a big Christmas for Miss G because its the first one that she really really gets. Last year she was excited for about a week leading up to it because thats about all the attention span she had but this year she has been talking about it for months and she is about to jump out of her skin waiting for Santa to fall down the chimney. Every time she hits her brother and I punish her she will run to me after time out and beg me to still tell Santa to bring her presents. She knows if she is naughty he wont come. That still doesn't stop her from slipping up from making mistakes. Little G has no clue that anything is happening but he sure loves trying to pull the tree over. It ain't going to happen though because that baby is bolted to the wall with heavy wire. He still pulls off the ornaments though and I only have ones he can play with at the bottom. When I clean up everyday I hate to put at least 25 ornaments back on the tree that are scattered around the house. He also loves looking at the lights on the house. We haven't put lights on the house for years but Miss G saw another house behind us lite up a few weeks ago and said "Mommy, can we please have lights on our house too?" and I couldn't resist.

The kids are both clamoring for my attention and I smell a really nasty diaper and its lunch time so I really must end this update even though I have so much more left to tell. If I don't get to update again then I wish all of you a very merry Christmas!!! Don't forget what its really about. Miss G is so excited to put baby Jesus in the manger on Christmas day on her Advent calendar. Everyday she keeps putting him in there and I have to tell her its not time yet. So sweet.

Giving her brother a huge smooch. She loves him most of the time!

With her pumpkins!

Miss G with her little brothers pumpkin!

She was of course a ballerina princess!

He was a grumpy octopus and Halloween was so hectic this is the only shot we got of him dressed. Sigh. I hate it when that happens!

Getting in trouble!

This was my toy when I was her age and I pushed dolls around in it. I guess this is her idea of her baby doll.

His froggy cake on his bday!

Mommy and unsmiling Little G

Yep, this is how almost all our family pics turn out.  I am the only one actually noticing the camera.

About to let his sister blow out his first year!

Yep, eating his cake with a tear in his eye!

Happy his bday is over and he can climb all over his new toys! He loved this one!

Our tree!

You better be nice!

I wonder what he is up to...

I see you!

One swtich in each hand!

Carrying him around like always! Little mommy!

Im still here....are you?

I sure I have exactly one reader left these days and thats me..HA! Things have been so totally chaotic around here that I can only dream t night about having time to actually surf the net, catch up on blogs and GASP update my own pathetic blog. So, I need to do a little updating here. Lets just go to list form for that!

1. MOMS Group-I have been super busy with my moms group and trying to organize our first Halloween party which is taking place at the end of the week. I had no idea how much it would end up costing me out of pocket and next year when my group is more established. I know it will end up being a ton of fun but I have no clue how I would have done it without my mom. How can anyone get something like a party don when you have two kids hanging all over you? Impossible. We have also made two trips to the pumpkin patch with the group and that was a whole experience. The first time I braved it with two small ones but this last Friday Little G stayed at home with grandma! Miss G is so the popular kid in my moms group. I don't know what it is about here....yeah right...I know she is the sweetest soul in the world and is super nice so thats why everyone flocks around her. She even has a serous boyfriend. I am not kidding...and they kiss. Where did my baby go????
2. My computer. Well, one of the main reasons I haven't been updating is because some lovely Trojan dude got inside my PC and totally bombed it. I mean ever thing locked up and I couldn't even run the Internet much less my virus protection program. I even had the Comcast people come out hoping it was a burned modem but no after they replaced that he looked at me and was like..."um screwed?". Great. so, fortunately he hooked the net up to my laptop that I got to bdays ago and never used because we couldn't get the wireless card to pick up the Internet. I guess it works just fine if you plug it in directly to the modem. Dur. So, now I have my Internet back and I had no idea how lost I was without it. How did we ever live before computers? Oh, yeah we got a lot more housework done thats fo sure.
3. Little G is walking! This is not new news. He has been walking for over a month now. He walks almost perfect now and barely ever falls. I have no idea where this last year went and I really try hard not to think about his first bday which is coming up on Nov. 3 because it makes me super depressed and also I have no idea how I can fit in getting a bday party together on top of all the other things I have got to get done this month. Its just so crazy how different my two kids are. Miss G didn't walk til she was 13.5 months and here he was walking at 10 months! But she was also saying about 5-7 words at one yr and he only says Mama and Dada and well, we aren't so sure about those anyways. He has the sweetest personality though and we love him so much. He has also already started throwing temper tantrums. He will throw his body to the floor and writhe around like he is dying with pain screaming his little head off. He can run full force into the corner of the wall and cry for half a second but if you take something away from him you better be ready to deal with his banshee like screaming that will follow. He has got some lungs. Speaking of those lungs...he had Croup. Not fun and we hope that is what it was because we are a little worried he might have asthma like Mr. G. He is still nursing strong and there is no end in sight but to be honest right now I wouldn't be too sad if it was because his teeth hurt really bad. Every time he latches on I can feel them and after about ten minutes I am ready to hurl him to the floor they hurt so bad. When he is done I can see his teeth imprints on my nipples for a good twenty minutes. Sleep. I can only dream of the nights when he will let me get a little. He is still up 2-1,000,000 times a night or so it feels that way. Some nights he will wake up and I feed him and then he wants to play. We are getting seriously close to sticking him up in his room and letting him CIO. I know...I know..I am totally not for that but I think I may go crazy if I don't start getting a little more shut eye!
4. Mr. G's health. Its been a little scary around here this last month. I know I have never talked about it here before but about a year after we were married Mr. G was at work one day (back when he was a chef) and he was making hamburger patties when all of a sudden his nose felt like it was frozen. Weird huh? Within 15 minutes his entire face and head went numb and it traveled into his arms and hands. Then he started to feel delirious. He waited for a few minutes and then was so scared he had to be rushed to the ER because he thought he was having a stroke or heart attack. They ended up discharging him an hour later saying it was a panic attack after his MRI and CT scan showed nothing. We knew it was not a panic attack since he knows what those are and already takes Xanax everyday for them. He just kept getting worse and worse til he couldn't have a conversation with me and couldn't hold a thought. He went to a Neurologist who proceeded to run every test in the book on him and everything came up blank. Mr. G's dad has MS so we thought maybe that was it but none of the tests showed that. We googled everything we could think of and nothing came back as a positive. so, he ended up unemployed for 8 months while he got semi better but then when he was able to go back he couldn't do physical labor anymore. His chef days were over and thats when he went into food sales. So, fast forward all these years and he has had many days of the numbness coming back and being really confused but it eventually went away. But, a couple weeks ago he got really sick again and this time we were not taking "I don't know whats wrong with him" as an answer. We have him going to the head neurologist here and we have taken so many tests its making our bank account spin but we are determined to find out what is wrong. So far we have nothing for an answer and it just doesn't make sense. I am at a loss. I am so super scared for our family. Thank God he has started feeling better and is able to work but I just cant imagine if he becomes disabled what will happen to us. We didn't have any kids last time he got sick so we managed on my pay but I don't work anymore and now there are two mouths to feed. The idea of him getting really sick and not working is unthinkable. I am trying to remain positive and hope we get some test results soon that will point us somewhere. We are like that Diagnostic X show right now. He had to give 13 vials of blood yesterday! I would of been dead! So, if any of you pray...please say one for our family!

Thats a good summary of everything going on here lately. Oh, Miss G started a ballet class over a month ago and she is just the best little dancer. She listens to every single direction and well, I may be a bit bias but I think she is the best one in her class. Of course she is defiantly the cutest. Who knows when the next update will be but here are a couple pics to keep you happy! I dont have time to photoshop them to make them all perty but I am sure you guys dont mind;)

Miss G and her "boyfriend" on the hayride.

Miss G at the patch. Yes, that is the most adorable outfit EVER!

Us...as good as it gets! Oh, and I am not a bad mommy...he did have on cute pants but it was way too hot that day!

My sweet silly gal!

Not the best pic but you can see he is walking!

The whole family. I dont know why but that finger has been in Little G's mouth since the day he was born!

Running girl

Dance class night!

The dog food says it all! This was when he first started walking!

Birthdays and just a quickie post...

The past couple of weeks have totally kicked my butt literally. I have been so busy getting ready for Mr. G's bday and my own and also trying to plan Halloween events for my moms group and oh yeah that rash I haven't told you guys about yet. More on that later. I have no time today as I am getting Miss G ready for her first ever ballet/tap class and OMG at all the cute photo ops. So, to hold you over Mr. G celebrated his 30th! bday last week and I cant believe I have known him since he was turning 17! Wow. Also, I have this super cute 10 month old guy living in my house who is like days away from walking. He has already taken at least 30 steps all on his own. Crawling days are almost gone...which will be kinda nice because I hate carrying him the whole time at mommy play dates. So here ya go!

This was at Mr. G's bday. Thats my sister who lives like 15 mins away and I never see her. Yeah one of those types. I still love her even though she is flawed..lol. Miss G really could care less she just loves her.

Mr. G with his mommy and daddy. I like them A LOT.

My sweet mommy with my little guy. He is so in love with my mom and since he is her first grandson and she only had my sister and I boys are a very welcome surprise to her.

Miss G had to help her daddy with the candles. He couldn't possibly blow all those out by himself could he?

Mr. G. Still looking pretty young. I think. Sorry for the blur. He like never smiles for pics so this was it.

And I had to add pics of my cute little G! Look at that drool. That goofy space between his teeth and his crazy stringy hair. Silly.

Yep, there are 6 of those Mofo's in there and let me be the first to tell you. Yes, nursing is a bitch.

Auntie balancing toys on his head. Yes, those are toys brought back to him from his MIL from China. Thank God they aren't painted.

Here he is waiting for daddy to come home.

Every time I look at pics of my kids I just cant believe how different they are. Also, how you can so tell he is a boy with all that drool and he can already give his sister a beatin. We are so in for it.

 

Sometimes it just hits me out of nowhere....

My dad is dead. He commited suicide. That is not normal. It is not normal to be turning 28 this week and not have my father. He was only 55 and to think last week he would of been two years away from turning 60 but he never got there. He worked his whole life for his retirement and for his grandbabies. Life is not fair by a long freakin shot.

Last night I took Miss G and went to a block party at my moms new subdivision. I had of course hoped that all of the people would be widows my mothers age but that wasn't even close to the reality. They were all young people my age with kids and my mother felt a little out of place. We ate a couple hot dogs and Miss G bounced on one of those blow up things and we walked back to moms house. Nobody even noticed us yet I wanted to scream "Hey ya'll this is my mom here and be nice to her because she lives alone and her husband is dead so she needs lots of love". She deserves to be embraced by lots of people who care about her and love her and I wish I could be all of that for her and I try with all my heart but I just cant. I am not enough.

Its been very hard for me when I think of my mom begin alone since my dad died. For the first year I couldnt stand to watch my mother leave my house alone. She would come to visit me and the kids and just watching her pull out of the driveway in my dads car alone would send me into a full on screaming tantrum the second she turned the corner. One time I even had the neighbor come and wrap her arms around me because I was lying in my driveway with my head in my hands, fetal positon crying rivers. No one knows this. I quickly composed myself and just told her it had been a bad week and went inside. I dont like to talk about his suicide to many people. They just dont get it.

So we went back to her house and I was looking in her china cabinet at all her pretty things and pulled out the fabrege egg I brought her back from San Fran a couple years ago. I think I gave it to her the first Christmas my dad wasnt here. She had always wanted him to give her one but he never did. Anyways, she asked me if I wanted to see her wedding ring again. My father had gotten her a "New" nicer, bigger ring on thier 20th anniversary and when he died she took it off and put it inside a ceramic cross box in her china cabinet. But, I didn't know before I opened it is that it held all of the rings. My moms first wedding ring, my dad's ring and then my moms new ring. When I saw my dads ring I almost dropped the whole box and crumpled to the floor. I had not seen his ring since before he died. It took about two seconds for the tears to come. I had not weeped like that in months. I can't tell you how many times I embraced my fathers hand in church and stared down at his big hand with my little fingers entwined with his and turned that ring around and around on his finger. Then later on as we both grew older I would always make it a game during church to see if I could get that ring off his finger since it had gotten a little smaller in his older years. I remember all those years I worked with my dad and watched him write out his paperwork and it was always that ring staring back at me as the focal point on his hand. It was something my dad wore every single day since they married and something I saw on his hand every single day since the day I was born. Now, here it was all alone inside this ceramic box almost mocking me that there was such an absense of him there. So, seeing it again sent me into a tailspin of emotion. I quickly put the ring back inside the box, told my mom I just couldn't do this right now and closed the cabinet. I turned away from my mother who I could see tearing up also in the corner of my eye and told her I needed to use the bathroom. I must of spent a good 30 minutes in there trying to compose myself. I just kept thinking about how mom doesn't need to deal with me being sad when she deals with her own sadness every single second of her waking day.

When I got home last night I felt really numb inside. I felt like all of my happiness had been sucked from my body. Who is there to embrace me? Who is here to tell me it will be ok? Will it ever be ok? Will anyone every understand this? There is no one there for me! The first couple of years all of the questions started with why and now they all start with will and who or where. Mr. G was sitting on the couch when I came in exhausted from taking care of Little G all night and yet still so wrapped up in his own little world of problems he couldn't possibly have noticed how upset I was. He has no clue how my dads death affects every second of my day. Its something we need to resolve because he just wont talk about my dads death and I need to talk about it with someone. It needs to be him. As I came to bed and cried to myself after he had fallen asleep I heard a whimper from the pack n play. Little G needed his boobies and suddenly it was like I was instantly pulled back into reality. The tears stopped and I pulled my precious baby into the bed to feed him and to feel alive again. Living for what I have now and not focusing on the pain of the past that is what makes me feel alive now.

Its gettin hot in here...

but I think someone forgot to tell the news to Miss G. So its over 107 degrees outside and the siding the slowly melting off the house. I even had a moms group at the pool today and my brain was so fried I the group owner forgot to attend. I felt horrible about it. Anyways, so here is Miss G today in her innocent unknowingness of the heatness outside. Now that was some good English huh?

Who says its hot?

Yes, thats my hat, scarf and gloves from when I was like 5 or something. When I asked her what she was doing she said " I'm getting ready so I can go snowboarding mommy!" Yes, honey we can all dream cant we!

Did I mention we are all running green noses over here? Don't believe me? Look at this yumminess! I think there is snot covering every inch of my house. Thank God the little ones like to lick it off. Saves some clean up on my part. I am so winning mother of the year. Click to enlarge to see full funkiness.

Its a great day here.

OH and I finally added new pics to my Flicker!

Naughty girls and desperate measures....

It is so hot here I feel like everyday I am waking up in hell. Its not to unbearable in my house but the AC is going non stop these days and it still wont go below 80 in here. It reached over 110 degrees today and up to 120 with the heat index. This is INSANE! Can you say global warming a few times people??? Anyways, my attitude has been so crappy the last few weeks and I find myself not knowing how to deal with my Miss G. She is such a sweet girl but this heat has her absolutely miserable too and its making her into a little demon. She screams at me when I ask her simple questions, is not so very nice to her little brother, runs into me full force when she gets bad and tries to bulldoze over me, does every SINGLE thing I tell her not to do just to spite me and basically is just pure spite.

So everyday I threaten her with spankings I never give because I am such a softy and now she actually laughs at me when I tell her I am going to spank her because she knows it ain't going to happen. But really guys no other punishment is working. We went from the naughty chair and time out to the old nose in the corner routine and OMG have I turned into my mother???? So, I think if she does one more thing the spanking thing IS going to happen and she will not be the one with the last laugh. But then I have to make sure I don't spank her in anger right? So that means I need to have a cooling off period after she smashes her brothers head in the toy fridge before I smack her butt? I am clearly doing something wrong and I know I am sending her mixed messages when I tell her I am going to spank her and I don't. My whole motherhood I have been one of those anti-spanking peoples and read all the research and stuff and now I am finding all the crap I read was obviously written by people who never had kids anyways and they don't seem to know what the hell they are talking about. I think I am going to have to add spanking to my growing list of things I said I would NEVER do as a parent. You know the list the one that started before she was even born ...my child will never wear disposable diapers, she will eat only homemade baby food, never use formula, TV is pure Satan, she will be potty trained by the time she is two, will never play video games, will never be spanked, never ever will consume Mc Donalds, no spanking, on and on, etc. So far we have broken every single things on that list except for two formula and spanking. I think that we might eventually be down to only living up to one thing on that list if I have to resort to spanking her butt one of these days or whenever I actually get up the courage. I guess thats the one thing I learned when I had my second child is that all those lists of will not's go right out the window.

So for your enjoyment...just kidding. Here are some of our punishment pictures I took the other day. Really, how can you not feel sorry for that face. Yeah? Its pretty easy when you have another one bleeding nearby who is way smaller and why more pathetic when he cries and its all her fault. No details.

The Corner:

The nose on the wall...note the tear streaming her face and down the wall! Dang kid leaving tear trails on my walls.

When I am telling her why she was in the corner..

Her response of course.

AND

My Kid playing (GASP!) video games and her brother so desperately wanting to join in!

And of course...motherhood is still the best job in the world. Hardest but the absolutely most rewarding. I mean just look at this. How lucky am I?

But, I still would really really love a day out to myself. I mean look at those roots, right? Geez. One day soon.

My kid is so super duper cute!